fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
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