...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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