happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
