I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
