He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
No subtext here. People are naked.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This couple is walking their pig around campus
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
