using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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