I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
