True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
