you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
