4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize