Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.