Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
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