Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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