Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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