I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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