Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
