My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
