Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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