she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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