OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
