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I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
