So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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