Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
