I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
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she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
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Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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