WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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