At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
