I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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