You're so nebulous sometimes
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
