ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
