somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
