It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He felt like a one man threesome
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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