well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
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That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
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Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
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