Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
