How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
