seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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