return my video game
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
too bad you live with your parents still
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize