4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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