I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
