But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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