He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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