So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
