garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
