I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
