you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
