i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
