Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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