Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
