I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
