Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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