If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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