would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You ate ashes out of my bong
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