marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
