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it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
