Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize