you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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