did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
