But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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