The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
