booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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