Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
do herpes really smell.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize