I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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