Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Hello my rib-scented angel!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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